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Good for a laugh

Posted at 08:55 on December 12th, 2004 | Quote | Edit | Delete
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L0rd of teh Ringz0r
F3ll0wsh1p of teh R1ng

[At Bilbo's 111th Birthday]
Merry: "Omg, I pwn"
Pippin: "Sif, I pwn"
**Rocket goes off
Gandalf: "Pwned!"

Bilbo: "This = shiz, bai foos"
Bilbo has left the server
Frodo: "***!?"

[later, in Bag End]
Gandalf: "Give teh ringz0r to Frodo"
Bilbo: "Sif! It r precious!"
Gandalf: "STFU NOOB!!!"
Bilbo: "ok"
Gandalf has logged on as admin
Bilbo has been kicked from The Shire

**Later
Gandalf: "Show me teh ring, foo!"
**Gandalf rides out, does some research, comes back
Gandalf: "OMGZ, it R teh ring!"
Frodo: "***?"
Gandalf has logged on as admin
Frodo has been kicked from The Shire
Sam has been kicked from The Shire

[At Isengard]
Gandalf: "sup dawg, i r g4nd4lf da gr3y!"
Saruman: "Foo! U R teh noob!"
Gandalf: "***?!"
Saruman: "Sauron pwns joo!"
Gandalf: "Sif, I R leet"
**Sarumon beats the **** out of Gandalf
Saruman: "Pwned!"

[on the road to Bree]
Merry: "look foos, shrooms!"
Pippin: "Woot! Shrooms!"
Frodo: "Ph34r!"
Sam: "Shrooms!"
Frodo: "PH34R!1!1"
**black rider stops, sniffs, goes past
Frodo: "OMG, packetloss!"

[Bree, in the Inn of the Prancing Pony]
**Frodo is drinking and dancing on a table, then slips
Frodo has left the server
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "OMGz, dc'd"
Aragorn: "OMG, noobz"

[at Weathertop]
Merry: "Mmm, shrooms!"
**MERRY IS BROADCASTING HIS IP ADDRESS!!!
Frodo: "Foos! Ph34r teh haxorz"

**the black riders attack
Merry: "OMG!!!"
Sam: "O.M.G!!!11"
Pippin: "***"
Frodo has left the server
**head nazgul stabs Frodo's ghost
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "***... hax!"
**Aragorn lraps into the fray with a flaming brand
Aragorn: "PH34r!!!!!!"
Merry: "LOLOL flamed! "

[on the road to Rivendell]
Aragorn: "ZOMG!Arwen!"
**Arwen rides up
Aragorn: "A/S/L? Wanna net secks?"
Arwen: "Sif! *** is up with Frodo?"
Sam: "Teh leet Hax0r "
Arwen: "Firewall?"

**Arwen rides off with Frodo, the nazgul give chase. Arwen crosses the ford at Rivendell.
Arwen: "PH34R!! My dad pwns urs!"
**nazgul start to cross
Arwen: "LOLOLOLO noobs!!1!"
**the ford rises up and washes the nazgul away
Warning: Connection Problems Detected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
Arwen: "Pwnt"

[at the Council of Elrond]
Gimli: "dwarves pwn!"
Legolas: "Sif, Elves pwn!"
Boromir: "OLOLOL noobs, men pwn!"
Elrond: "STFU tards!!1!"
**Frodo puts the ring on the plinth
Gimili: "Sif ring pwns all!"
**Gimli swings his axe at it, which shatters
Elrond: "**sigh, noob"

[Frodo meets up with Bilbo]
Bilbo: "OLOL, me = 10th level thief!"
Frodo: "OMG, u r teh pwn!"
Bilbo: "Do u still have teh ringz0r?"
**Frodo shows Bilbo the One Ring
Bilbo: "OMG u tard, I want to TK you!"
Frodo: "sif!"
Bilbo: "ph34r my mithril"

[The Fellowship leaves Rivendell]
**Gandalf leads the fellowship through the mountains
Legolas: "ZOMG, leet gfx!"
Gimli: "I R dropping frames! FFS"
**There's an avalanche which threatens to knock them off the shelf
Gimli: "Gandalf, teh draw distance is too far!1!!1"
Gandalf: "**Sigh. Moria?"
Gimli votes to change map to Moria
Votes 4 of 4 required
Legolas: "lolol Gimli, time to upgrade!"

[The fellowship approaches the gates of Moria]
Gandalf: "FFS, its too hard! Anyone got a walkthrough?"
**The gates of Mordor open, but the Guardian attacks!
Frodo: "OMG! ph34r!"
Boromir: "GL HF"
Aragorn [broadsword] guardian
Legolas [arrow] guardian
Gandalf: "gg"

[The fellowship enters the mines of Moria]
Gimli: "OMG!!!! PWNED!"

**After travelling some time in the dark the Fellowship come to a chamber with a large well
Gandalf: "Teh bookz0r has some clues!"
**Merry knocks a skeleton in armour down the well
Gandalf: "OMG! noob!"
Merry: "d'oh"
**The fellowship hears the ork drums
Boromir: "***?"
Aragorn: "***?"
Frodo: "..."
Gandalf: "Oh ffs >.<"
**the fellowhip shores up the doors as the orks come
Boromir: "TEAMS FFS!"
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Aragorn [broadsword] ork
Boromir [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
ork: "OMG! h4x!"
Gimli: "pwned"!
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas: "lol!!"
Boromir [broadsword] ork
Gimli [axe] ork
Gimli: "Foos!"
Legolas [arrow] ork
ork: "ffs, wallhax!"
**The cavetroll enters the chambers destroying the doors
Gandalf: "Oh ffs!"
Boromir: "Omg, its teh boss!"
Aragorn: "Sif noob, we're not at teh end yet!"
**Cavetroll slams Boromir and Aragorn out of the way, and then skewers Frodo
Sam: "OMG!"
Gandalf: "OMG!"
Aragorn: "omg, pwn!"
**Legolas jumps on the cavetroll and shoots arrows down into its head
Legolas [arrow] cavetroll
Ork: "OMG! PWNED!"
Gimli: "LOLOOLOL! noobs"
**The fellowship then runs through Moria, chased the whole way by a horde of orks
Boromir: "FFS! Teams, foos!"
**A flaming shadow starts to follow them, and the orks withdraw
Aragorn: "Now THIS is teh boss!"
Gandalf: "OMG!"
**The fellowship take to long flights of stairs that are starting to crumble and fall. Orks shoot at them with arrows.
Legolas: "LOL, noobs. Chex0r this out!1!"
Legolas [arrow] ork
Legolas [arrow] ork
ork: "AIMBOT!"
ork: "turn it off!"
Legolas: "lolol!"
**The fellowship crosses a bridge, Gandalf stops to confront the balrog
Gandalf: "joo shall not pass!"
Balrog: "***?"
Gandalf: "JOO SHALL NOT PASS!"
Balrog: "Sif, noob"
**Gandalf strikes the bridge with his staff, cracking it and causing it to break under the Balrog's weight
Balrog: "ZOMG! PWNED!"
Frodo: "OMG! Gandalf!"
**The Balrog falls and in a last act of defiance strikes out with its whip, entangling Gandalf
Gandalf: "D'oh"
Frodo: "OMG, joo foo!"
Gandalf: "fly u foos, fly!"
**Gandalf lets go and follows the Balrog into the crevass
Gandalf has left the server
Balrog has disconnected

[After escaping Moria the fellowship finds itself in Loth Lorien]
**The fellowship rests, and in the night Frodo speaks with Galadriel
Galadriel: "For a noob, u r teh leet!"
Frodo: "Sif. I don't want teh ringz0r. Do u want teh ringz0r?"
Galadriel: "******! SIF I want teh ringz0r. I have enough h4x of my own!1"

[The fellowship leaves Loth Lorien and sets out via river]
Saurman: "ph34r my army of uruk hai! Go outz0r, find teh hobbitz and pwnz0r them!"
uruk hai: "leet!"

[stopping at the banks of the river, the Fellowship sets up camp]
**Frodo goes off looking for firewood, Boromir follows and confronts him
Boromir: "Gimmie teh ringz0r so ur hax can fight teh boss!"
Frodo: "Sif, foo. Punkbuster will pwn joo!"
Boromir: "Naw, we play on non-pb servers"
Frodo: "STFU noob"
Frodo has left the server
Boromir: "***! FRODO! Bring teh ringz0r back, faghat!"

**A group of Uruk Hai encounter Boromir
Boromir: "OH FFS, TEAMS!!"
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Boromir: "****ing campers"
**Aragorn comes across the battle
Aragorn: "Boromir joo noob! ***!"
Uruk Hai: "Hah, pwn!"
Aragorn [broadsword] Uruk Hai
Aragorn: "I bring joo teh pwn!"
**Aragorn goes to Boromir
Boromir: "Damn lag!"
Warning: Connection problems detected
Boromir has disconnected
Aragorn: "FFS!"

[Frodo returns to the bank of the river where he gets into a boat. Sam 'sees' him]
Sam: "Frodo! ***! Invisibility h4x!"
Frodo has connected to the server
Frodo: "Sam, STFU and FOAD!"
Sam: "Sif!"
Frodo: "Oh, ffs noob!"

End.
-----
I am on a hot streak... Litterally.
Posted at 09:18 on December 12th, 2004 | Quote | Edit | Delete
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Lord of the Rings and IRC chatting - what an ultra-nerd combination :D
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Now you see the violence inherent in the system!
Posted at 10:16 on December 12th, 2004 | Quote | Edit | Delete
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my favourite part is
Quote:
**Gandalf leads the fellowship through the mountains
Legolas: "ZOMG, leet gfx!"
Gimli: "I R dropping frames! FFS"


:D
-----
I am on a hot streak... Litterally.
Posted at 10:19 on December 12th, 2004 | Quote | Edit | Delete
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Call me old, but I can't actually 'translate' all of this. Take the part you quoted:
Quote:
Legolas: "Oh my god, elite graphics!"
Gimli: "I am dropping frames! For fucks sake"

Am I even close? If so, what's the 'Z' in 'ZOMG' and why does it say 'R' ('are'?) instead of 'am'?
-----
Now you see the violence inherent in the system!
Posted at 10:25 on December 12th, 2004 | Quote | Edit | Delete
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Quote:
why does it say 'R' ('are'?) instead of 'am'?

Because "R" is one letter, but "am" is 2. That extra keystroke is a killer.

"I... R... ba-boooon!"

Edited by Cypherswipe at 17:58 on December, 12th 2004
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At the end of the day, you're left with a bent fork & a pissed off rhino.
Posted at 10:54 on December 12th, 2004 | Quote | Edit | Delete
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I are dropping frames

it is terrible english.
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Keep your stick on the ice
Posted at 11:45 on December 12th, 2004 | Quote | Edit | Delete
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Quote:
Because "R" is one letter, but "am" is 2. That extra keystroke is a killer.
Yup, and 'Ringz0r' is also a lot shorter than 'Ring' :P Another expression whose meaning I have no clue about is 'SIF'. Anyone?
-----
Now you see the violence inherent in the system!
Posted at 12:24 on December 12th, 2004 | Quote | Edit | Delete
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I have no clue about Sif either, but I take, from this script, that it either mean Sir or Shut up. That's my guess anyways...

When I have time, I'll give you a traduction Mr. Creosote... ;)
-----
I am on a hot streak... Litterally.
Posted at 12:33 on December 12th, 2004 | Quote | Edit | Delete
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If it's "shut up", it could be "shut it fuck", "shut it fool" or "shut it fag" or something like that...
-----
Now you see the violence inherent in the system!
Posted at 13:28 on December 12th, 2004 | Quote | Edit | Delete
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That was actually my first pleasant experience with anything related to Lord Of The Rings, ever. pwned!
-----
"One Very Important Thought"
Posted at 13:31 on December 12th, 2004 | Quote | Edit | Delete
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What? Haven't you seen the Lord of the Rings movie from the late 70s? If that's not pleasant, I don't know what is :P
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Now you see the violence inherent in the system!
Posted at 14:31 on December 12th, 2004 | Quote | Edit | Delete
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My translations:

omgz =z is cool (The z doesn't actually mean anything, but it's "cool" to have it.)
zomg =typo? (It was supposed to be omgZ? ...Or perhaps it's an intentional typo such as "teh"?)
sif =shut it fool (or fucker)
tk =totally kill? (not sure on that one)
olol =typo? (Was that a typo, or some new crap?)
gl hf =good luck H.... F....? (no idea what the HF stands for)
"Sif, noob" =redundant (shut it fool, noob)
FOAD =??? (No clue what the hell FOAD means.)
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At the end of the day, you're left with a bent fork & a pissed off rhino.
Posted at 14:34 on December 12th, 2004 | Quote | Edit | Delete
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"ZOMG" appears in the text several times, so it's unlikely it's a typo.
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Now you see the violence inherent in the system!
Posted at 14:45 on December 12th, 2004 | Quote | Edit | Delete
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I found some of these abbreviations here: http://www.thebestlinks.com/Internet_slang.html

ZOMG --- Bastardization of 'OMG', meaning 'Oh My God'. Pronounced 'Zoe My God'.
sif --- "as if"
HF --- "have fun"
FOAD --- "fuck off and die!"


Also stumbled on this http://www.thebestlinks.com/Fuck.html A page all about the history, definition, and useage of the word fuck. Part of it is almost verbatum from a george carlin comedy skit, but it's still kinda funny.
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At the end of the day, you're left with a bent fork & a pissed off rhino.
Posted at 15:02 on December 12th, 2004 | Quote | Edit | Delete
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I should bookmark that first link. Could be useful for future reference when I have to decypher stuff like this again.
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Now you see the violence inherent in the system!
Posted at 16:46 on December 12th, 2004 | Quote | Edit | Delete
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tk = team kill

as in you kill your own team.
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Keep your stick on the ice
Posted at 22:34 on December 12th, 2004 | Quote | Edit | Delete
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L0rd of teh Ringz0r
Lord of the Ring
F3ll0wsh1p of teh R1ng
The fellowship of the Ring

[At Bilbo's 111th Birthday]
Merry: "Omg, I pwn"
Merry: "Whoa, I can't beleive this! I managed to "borrow" one of the special magic rockets of Gandalf! I'm the best!".
Pippin: "Sif, I pwn"
Pippin: "What are you talking about? You managed to get it because I was watching your back. I am the best!"
**Rocket goes off
Gandalf: "Pwned!"
Gandalf: "Now I got you, you thieves! I'm gonna make you regret you did this!" In reference to the book when Pippin and Merry needs to do unpleasant chores as punishment.

Bilbo: "This = shiz, bai foos"
Bilbo tell everyone how great is the Shire and how great it is (and was) to be part of it. Then he say some sound goodbyes and surprise everyone by using the ring to become invisible, fooling everyone since nobody could possibly know what is happening.
Bilbo has left the server
Comical reference to IRC. Since he became invisible, all the Hobbits think Bilbo is not present physicaly in 'the world', thus doesn't exist anymore. The line refer to what you see when someone quit IRC.
Frodo: "***!?"
Frodo is completely surprised by this.

[later, in Bag End]
Gandalf: "Give teh ringz0r to Frodo"
Gandalf meet Bilbo in his house before he depart. He talk to him about the Ring he had planned to give to Frodo as an heritage.
Bilbo: "Sif! It r precious!"
Bilbo is possessed by the evil power of the Ring and refuse verbaly in an offensive way
Gandalf: "STFU NOOB!!!"
Gandalf use magic to impress and scare Bilbo to no end.
Bilbo: "ok"
Since Hobbits are utterly scared and unexperimented with magic, the trick manage to bring Bilbo to his senses and he finnaly agree to leave the Ring
Gandalf has logged on as admin
Bilbo has been kicked from The Shire
Comical reference to IRC again. Since Gandalf was instrumental in the depart of Bilbo and the stay of the Ring in the Shire so Frodo can take possession later, he is considered the equal of an Admin on IRC, who can be seen with a @ in the display menu in a channel and who make law in their own channel. In this case, the channel would be #The_Shire, in reference to the place they are currently. When Bilbo finnaly depart, he go away of '#The_Shire'. Since it looks like Gandalf decided so, the reference of being 'kicked out from' is from when an admin purposely decide to take someone away from their channel.

**Later
Gandalf: "Show me teh ring, foo!"
Gandalf examine the Ring with attention when Frodo come back in, knowing that Frodo have no idea of the power it might hold (or even if it could be magical).
**Gandalf rides out, does some research, comes back
Reference to the part when Gandalf underdo some sound research on what the ring could be. This actually take several months in the book.
Gandalf: "OMGZ, it R teh ring!"
Gandalf discover that the Ring is the One Ring he was seeking since an eternity and is really surprised to find it there. He is actually saying this after coming back from his research in other lands.
Frodo: "***?"
Frodo have no idea whatsoever of what Gandalf is talking about. Reference to the part of the book when Gandalf explain to Frodo what is the ring and what he should do
Gandalf has logged on as admin
Frodo has been kicked from The Shire
Sam has been kicked from The Shire
Same comical reference from IRC again. Gandalf send Frodo and Sam out on a mission to bring the Ring away from #The_Shire and thus to safety

[At Isengard]
Gandalf: "sup dawg, i r g4nd4lf da gr3y!"
Gandalf reports himself to Saruman and tell him the full story thinking he is talking to a true and sage friend. Since he found the Ring, he consider himself important (as referenced by his name written in Leet)
Saruman: "Foo! U R teh noob!"
Saruman take Gandalf for a fool and for an unexperimented magician.
Gandalf: "***?!"
Gandalf does not understand this sudden turn of event and personality from his mentor
Saruman: "Sauron pwns joo!"
Saruman warn Gandalf that he is really more powerfull than him. Reference to the book when Saruman tell Gandalf that he calculated that the world stood no chance against Sauron (probably after being possessed by him with the communication sphere) and that he is planning to ally with him. He tells Gandalf that if he does not do the same, he will be forced to kill him
Gandalf: "Sif, I R leet"
Gandalf completely refuse to aknowledge Saruman power and new position in Sauron army and defy him
**Sarumon beats the **** out of Gandalf
Saruman win
Saruman: "Pwned!"
Verbal leet expression of an emotional reaction after Saruman beat Gandalf. Sounds like a victory cry. Not really important for the story

[on the road to Bree]
Merry: "look foos, shrooms!"
Merry find Mushrooms at the border of the road that the other Hobbits overlooked or did not see. Mushrooms is one of the most prefered meal of Hobbits.
Pippin: "Woot! Shrooms!"
Pippin shows his content
Frodo: "Ph34r!"
Frodo sense something approaching which scare him to death. He tells his companion they should hide, but they do not listen to him.
Sam: "Shrooms!"
Sam notice the Mushrooms too, not paying attention to Frodo.
Frodo: "PH34R!1!1"
Frodo fraight get worse, and he gets everyone to hide in panic.
**black rider stops, sniffs, goes past
A black rider come but don't find the hiding Hobbits, even tough it is in fact them that the rider is seeking. He finnaly pass by and go away.
Frodo: "OMG, packetloss!"
Comical reference to a common lagging experience when playing games. Packetlosses are experimented when a connection is fast and continuous but also with some packets lost in route, which takes way more time for the servers to acknowledge the same data. Usually lead to weird results in the game. In this context, it reference to the fact that Frodo was so scared to death from the unholy aura of the dark rider that he could not perform any logical action at all.

[Bree, in the Inn of the Prancing Pony]
**Frodo is drinking and dancing on a table, then slips
Reference to the movie when Frodo unintentionally wear the ring in the middle of the tavern
Frodo has left the server
Frodo has connected to the server
Same comical reference to IRC as before. This time Frodo get out of #The_Shire by wearing the ring, but he takes it out immediatly and get back in an instant.
Frodo: "OMGz, dc'd"
Comical reference to IRC. IRC users sometime get disconnected without entering the command themselves or for apparantly no reason, usually after some high latency count or when they are inactive for too long. The reference take place as Frodo never intended to "disconect".
Aragorn: "OMG, noobz"
Reference to the book when Aragorn meets Frodo. Aragorn tell Frodo that he should not try to get attention on himself and his group like this and that he has no idea of what is at stake.

[at Weathertop]
Merry: "Mmm, shrooms!"
Reference to the book when the Hobbits are cooking something when resting at the ruins
**MERRY IS BROADCASTING HIS IP ADDRESS!!!
Comical reference to internet technicality. By broadcasting his own IP adress, someone would effectively tell everyone who would be 'listening' of their existance and location. The reference take place as the smoke of the fire draw attention of the Nazguls.
Frodo: "Foos! Ph34r teh haxorz"
Frodo was sleeping at the time. When he wake up, he puts the fire out and tell the other how stupid they were by doing so and that they should fear the Nazguls as they spotted them. They can hear their screams approaching now.

**the black riders attack
Merry: "OMG!!!"
Merry is completely surprised and overwhelmed by the sudden turn of event.
Sam: "O.M.G!!!11"
Same as precedent, but worse
Pippin: "***"
Pippin is showing his discontentment with a verbal word
Frodo has left the server
Same comical reference to IRC as before. Frodo use the Ring to try to escape the Riders
**head nazgul stabs Frodo's ghost
The leader of the Nazguls see Frodo and stab him with a magical dagger
Frodo has connected to the server
Same comical reference to IRC as before. Frodo take the ring out and become visible again
Frodo: "***... hax!"
Comical reference to internet technicality. Reference to the result of an Hacker attack on a computer. This is in reference to the Nazgul leader managing to get pass Frodo invisibility to stab him.
**Aragorn lraps into the fray with a flaming brand
Aragorn: "PH34r!!!!!!"
Battlecry. Crudely translated, it would mean "fear me", and is intended to the Nazguls. Comical reference here which is not needed to the continuity of the story
Merry: "LOLOL flamed! "
Comical reference to Internet technicality. Being 'flamed' mean being 'verbally' attacked on a Forum by someone who deliberately wish to stir a fight or use very offensive language and arguments to bring the other person to answer back to him after being provocked. In this particular case, this is a merge of 1) Aragon taunting the Nazguls with his last sentence, 2) him using a fire brand which the Nazguls are naturally weak to and 3) in reference to the internet technicality mentioned. This is purely comical and is not needed for the continuation of the story



More to come, going to sleep now...
-----
I am on a hot streak... Litterally.
Posted at 05:52 on December 13th, 2004 | Quote | Edit | Delete
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Now all of this makes a lot more sense :) What's probably not that well chosen is the reference "xxx has logged on as admin". My (albeit limited) IRC knowledge tells me that there are no 'admins' there, but 'operators' or (short) 'ops'.
-----
Now you see the violence inherent in the system!
Posted at 14:48 on December 13th, 2004 | Quote | Edit | Delete
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It's the same thing. in IRC, moderators are often refered as Admins because of the @ in front of their name.

I don't know if it's because newbies call them that or it truely have a real meaning.
-----
I am on a hot streak... Litterally.
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